I am not laughing

Why is it so hard?
Why is it so difficult?
What did we do?
How can we fix it?

I can't see why it's so difficult,
I'm sorry I just can't!
Is it selfish?
If so then how?

How the hell are we asking too much!?
I'm fed up with it
I truly am…
Something is in the way and it's annoying

I wonder if you're really happy
Only because of the situation we're in
I don't want you to go
Am I really selfish for wanting you all to myself?

I can see this gradually building up
The calls come less and less and it's strange
I feel something and no matter how many times I push it aside
It comes back stronger

I don't want you to go.
I have a plan
I will admit it's not very thought out but,
What the hell it's a plan!

It'll take a few years
I'm willing to wait that long
Will you?
Just a weekend with no one around.

It'll work I promise
I hope
I pray
If not then…. I've got nothing.

Sometimes I see it, as there's no point
Sometimes I just want to keep you all to myself
Sometimes I want to tell everyone else to shut up
Sometimes I just want to punch a person in the face

That last statement is every other hour for me though
For any reason really
But this time It's special
Hope it made you laugh.

Are we selfish?
Are we wrong?
Are we asking for too much?
Do we really not understand?

I don't know…
It's a cruel joke
We're not laughing
And no one else seems to get it

I'll fight for a moment
I'll wait if I have too
I'll try my best and more
Hopefully it pays off